Going back to LJ. Peace out, homies!

Crazy Cat Lady

Possible future cat names...

Female:
Nymphadora, [Stellar] Stella, Kate, Georgette, Colette, Caroline, Magdalene, Lenka, Gemma

Male:
Billy, Pippin, [By] George [I think he's got it!], Bert/Burt

Musically DeRutted

Thank you, Lenka, for pulling me out of my music rut.

Take a listen.

Children, don't breed with other species.

I am completely and utterly offended.

Just a minute... in July.

*idea taken from kissesandcrossstitches

Watching... Hopefully: Skins, Year One, and perhaps see the new Harry Potter if I can handle the chaos surrounding it in the theater. Also: Frasier!

Listening to... Sleep and meditation CDs (I have found them to be quite nice) and lots of pop music.

Reading... Nothing but textbooks, baby.

Drinking... Iced Coffees, Milk, Water, Lemonade, and Sodas; maybe I'll make some homemade lemonade (from scratch) sometime.

Wanting... A new chair for my desk (second hand is okay), furniture for the new place (sofa and a dresser for myself), a canvas for my artistic endeavors, a job, and for Huy to give my camera back and stop “forgetting” to bring it – it's mine! I want to take up photography.

Summer lovin.

When I go home in August for a month, I am going to find something I'm really good at or learn something new about myself. Bonus points for both.

Some other goals to accomplish by the end of summer:

finish some scrapbook pages

apply for scholarships

apply for study abroad programs?

look into internships (international ones, maybe?)

Will return to this list later.

Why can't we be friends?

He did mean that we shouldn't be friends anymore. I talked him out of it, I think. I'm currently thinking we can still be good friends, but perhaps I should keep some things to myself. I will apply the same boundaries I give him to myself (only mild talks of dating and "playing"). That is fair. I would keep my anxiety to myself (since he doesn't understand it), but it's a big part of me and shouldn't be something I have to hold back. Besides, I'm working on lowering my anxiety levels (I will be much happier this way); I hope it won't be a huge deal for too much longer. Maybe he used to be detrimental to my health because he added so much anxiety, but that's not an issue anymore, and I don't want anyone telling me it is. I really am fine now. Trust me, my lack of anxiety surrounding this issue says so.

And I think, despite our conflicts, we are good friends. He says that people are replaceable... to an extent, that is true. But I always kind of miss the friendships I used to have with people, and I think that makes them irreplaceable in a way. You can't forget the part they used to play in your life, and you always kind of miss them. So even though you have new friends now, you still remember and miss the old ones, and that makes them irreplaceable because you won't ever have the same friendship with your old friends again, and your new friends (despite probaby being fucking amazing themselves) won't be exactly the same as the old ones... Fuck, I don't even know if I make sense to anyone but me. Perhaps I'm just too sentimental. I also hate letting go of people. I don't want to replace Raj, and I don't want to be replaced. If I ever relapse and become the same person I was last year, I will end our friendship. However, right now, I'm in a good place.

And that is that.