The ramblings of an insomniac

I've been having trouble sleeping again (no one's surprised here). I don't really think I'm upset about Bryce at all, but I'll wake up thinking about him and having that panicky feeling; it's weird because I really don't care that much about him in the daytime these days.

I'm also angry at Raj; perhaps the angry dialogues we have in my head before I go to bed doesn't help me at all. The whole not-talking-to-each-other-thing is really making me angry and anxious. I know why I'm not talking to him, but I have no idea why he wouldn't talk to me. As far as I know, he has no real reason to be upset with me. For once, I'd like him to understand my point of view and apologize. He doesn't need to appreciate that I'm his friend or anything (like I'm going to force people to feel honored that I'm their friend or something), but it's not okay to shrug off that hellish year - to say it didn't matter. It matters to me, and he's not a good friend if he can't acknowledge that it was a really bad year.

Anyway, enough sad stuff. I should probably clean the bathroom before I head out for 4th of July celebrations. This will probably be the first time in ages where I get to enjoy the 4th. I've never actually drank on the 4th, so I'm kind of excited about that. I also baked a snickerdoodle cake that should be amazing.

Interesting factoid: I got my first kiss two years ago today.
Funny, I'm not talking to him right now.

xx